"Instead of answering her as soon as he saw her hair grow electric, her face more vivid, her eyes like lightning, her body restless and jerky like a racehorse’s, he retired behind this wall of objective understanding, this gentle testing and acceptance of her, just as one watches an animal in the zoo and smiles at his antics, but is not drawn into this mood. It was this which left Lilith in a state of isolation - indeed, like a wild animal in an absolute desert." ~ Anais Nin
What a perfect illustration of how most relationships are acted out: I’ll behave in a certain way, you will react and I blame your reaction for leaving me “in a state of isolation”. I will choose to be in a state of isolation if, and only if that state is consistent with my self-image. Once I Know who I am, your reaction will have no bearing on how I feel. Your reaction will tell me much about your beliefs and healing these beliefs is the purpose of our relationship. Blaming you for how I feel can never have anything to do with love and much to do with projection of my virtually inexhaustible supply of self-hatred.